A Post i came across in Elite Daily by Sara Caliva "Why ‘Scandal’ Made Me Question If Women Really Can Have It All"
Here is the article
This season of “Scandal” has been an interesting one.
Putting aside my undying support for Jake, I have tried to accept that Fitz and Olivia have a love that just can’t be denied.
I have tried to get on board because I thought I’d be watching a strong, intelligent woman run her business and still have the man she loves.
I waited for the episode when she would smile because she didn’t have to sacrifice her dreams for love.
But it couldn’t and didn’t happen.
Truthfully, I’d be lying if I didn’t admit that I take all of this a little too personally.
With my 20s behind me, it’s hard not to take stock of everything I’ve accomplished.
Don’t get me wrong; I’m proud of the things I’ve done.
But I’m single after thinking twice that I was headed down the aisle, and it stings.
I wonder if I wasted valuable time on two men when I could have been building my business years sooner.
Did I fail to be a strong, independent woman?
Is it too late?
Or worse, will I never have a family?
I play a game of mental tug of war every day.
Do I embrace being single, say “screw it” to men and focus on my dreams?
Do I pound the pavement of dating apps until I find a nice man to love: one who owns a house and wants a wife?
Can I have both?
I look at my girlfriends and I see the toll that these same questions have taken on them.
We come from a generation of mothers who want to see us succeed, travel and be accomplished young women. Yet, they yearn for our weddings and grandchildren.
We are part of a generation that is told we can freeze our eggs, have a career and then raise a baby on our own (with the help of daycare) in a few years.
But then, we see our high school friends and their smiling husbands and perfect little children on Facebook. We wonder what we did wrong.
Did I fail because I couldn’t be the person my exes wanted?
I couldn’t be that girl who lives in the suburbs and works from 9 to 5.
It’s not to say I don’t want love and commitment, but I’ll take apartments and working all-nighters with a crazy, creative partner over these traditional routes.
Am I failing to see a balance?
Maybe I just haven’t met the man who will support me enough to show me I can have it all.
(For the record, if there’s a man out there who wants to travel the country with me in a tiny house towed by a bright yellow Fiat, I’m taking applications.)
There are days I feel judged for wanting a family when I should be focusing on my mind and talents.
There are days when I feel judged for wanting to choose a crazy, bohemian lifestyle when I should be buying a house and settling down.
So this is my plea to both sides and all generations: Let your sisters, wives, friends, girlfriends and daughters know it’s never too late for them to reach for their dreams.
Tell them being a woman doesn’t mean you have to choose between love and a career.
It just means we might have to fight a little harder and multitask like pros.
But tell us that no matter what, you’ll have our backs.
Sometimes, we need to hear it.
I know I do
This season of “Scandal” has been an interesting one.
Putting aside my undying support for Jake, I have tried to accept that Fitz and Olivia have a love that just can’t be denied.
I have tried to get on board because I thought I’d be watching a strong, intelligent woman run her business and still have the man she loves.
I waited for the episode when she would smile because she didn’t have to sacrifice her dreams for love.
But it couldn’t and didn’t happen.
Truthfully, I’d be lying if I didn’t admit that I take all of this a little too personally.
With my 20s behind me, it’s hard not to take stock of everything I’ve accomplished.
Don’t get me wrong; I’m proud of the things I’ve done.
But I’m single after thinking twice that I was headed down the aisle, and it stings.
I wonder if I wasted valuable time on two men when I could have been building my business years sooner.
Did I fail to be a strong, independent woman?
Is it too late?
Or worse, will I never have a family?
I play a game of mental tug of war every day.
Do I embrace being single, say “screw it” to men and focus on my dreams?
Do I pound the pavement of dating apps until I find a nice man to love: one who owns a house and wants a wife?
Can I have both?
I look at my girlfriends and I see the toll that these same questions have taken on them.
We come from a generation of mothers who want to see us succeed, travel and be accomplished young women. Yet, they yearn for our weddings and grandchildren.
We are part of a generation that is told we can freeze our eggs, have a career and then raise a baby on our own (with the help of daycare) in a few years.
But then, we see our high school friends and their smiling husbands and perfect little children on Facebook. We wonder what we did wrong.
Did I fail because I couldn’t be the person my exes wanted?
I couldn’t be that girl who lives in the suburbs and works from 9 to 5.
It’s not to say I don’t want love and commitment, but I’ll take apartments and working all-nighters with a crazy, creative partner over these traditional routes.
Am I failing to see a balance?
Maybe I just haven’t met the man who will support me enough to show me I can have it all.
(For the record, if there’s a man out there who wants to travel the country with me in a tiny house towed by a bright yellow Fiat, I’m taking applications.)
There are days I feel judged for wanting a family when I should be focusing on my mind and talents.
There are days when I feel judged for wanting to choose a crazy, bohemian lifestyle when I should be buying a house and settling down.
So this is my plea to both sides and all generations: Let your sisters, wives, friends, girlfriends and daughters know it’s never too late for them to reach for their dreams.
Tell them being a woman doesn’t mean you have to choose between love and a career.
It just means we might have to fight a little harder and multitask like pros.
But tell us that no matter what, you’ll have our backs.
Sometimes, we need to hear it.
I know I do
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